You wouldn’t believe what’s all over my toes: SNOW.
How did snow get to my toes, you ask?
Have you been walkin barefoot again?
Have you been too stubborn to put my flip flops away… again?
Nope. That’s not how snow got on my toes.
Today it came straight through my boots and my socks, my extra thick fluffy socks.
Okay, but are you wearing your coat?
…we know how you are about forgetting your coat.
Well yes, I am wearing my coat.
Except my coat is a thin zipped-up sweatshirt cause that’s all I’ve got!
Don’t worry, husband gave me his fleece and his rain jacket.
I’ve got those on top of “my coat.”
And my husband’s coats, by the way, are incredibly souped-up boy scout coats.
Seriously, I could go camping in Siberia with these things.
They’ve been my coats everyday on account of all my good coats were wasted and worn out in the service of the Lord… and besides, that went down in Southern California where snow never gets on your toes anyway. Nope. Never.
So, I’ve resorted to man coats.
The thing about man coats is: They’re just so EFFECTIVE.
The other thing is: They’re not very pretty.
Can you be both pretty and warm at the same time?
I subject that it is impossible for girls like me.
I mean it. I am freezing and cute or I’m a big, boxy, man-looking warm girl.
And really, I like that second one better.
It’s tough to be a woman in the winter time.
Don’t let these girls fool you. They’re freezing.
Oh, how our generation has been deceived!
In other eras, one might see these girls and say,
“Oh my dear, where are your pants?”
Today we say, “Why you see, these ARE my pants!”
But what are leggings, really? Leggings are like naked legs in pretty colors.
That means they’re not that warm, and they’re not the same as pants.
But have I run around my living room dancing and yelling and doing handstands in them?
Oh yeah, yeah I have.
But there isn’t any snow in my living room.
And what about this number?
Who needs to be warm beneath the rib cage anyway?
Until I find a good coat and some boots, I’ll be missing the 90’s when I was warm AND stylish.
That’s what I’m talkin about ladies.